Signs of Getting Older...Is It Funny If It's True?

1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. It takes longer to rest than it took to get tired
3. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
4. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
5. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
6. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
7. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
8. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
9. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
10. You sing along with the elevator music.
11. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
12. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
13. You have a dream about prunes.
14. You actually send money to PBS.
15. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
16. You take a metal detector to the beach.
17. You wear black socks with sandals.
18. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.